Five More Minutes
by thecolouryes
Summary: A series of drabbles, branching out from the Doctor meeting fanfiction. 2 NEW: "Unnecessary Sneakiness" "Spoilers" with spoilers for "Let's Kill Hitler" on the last
1. Fanfiction

**Five More Minutes**

**A Doctor Who General/Humor Fanfic**

**Summary:  
**_**A series of drabbles, branching out from the Doctor meeting fanfiction.**_

**Rated K for absolutely nothing bad.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I was tempted to write this into a full-length one-shot, but then I decided that it's funner as a drabble. And it's a real one, too.**

**I decided to turn this into a series of drabbles, because I couldn't resist.**

**Chapter 1: Fanfiction (100 words)**

"We're here!"

"Bother," the teen muttered. "Five more minutes!"

"You've been reading those things all morning!"

"But I'm almost finished this one!"

"You said that twenty minutes ago!"

"Yeah, but we weren't anywhere near ready! You still had to fix the... whatever it was you had to fix, so I started another one!"

"Do you _ever_ stop?" The teen took her eyes away from the screen for a moment and considered this.

"Nope!" He sighed. Loudly. He glanced around the ship, as though there was someone to catch his defeat.

"What are you reading?"

"Fanfiction. Ten/Rose shipping."

"Move over."

**A/N: Don't bother reviewing. Or, maybe do. I don't care. This was just fun for me to write. Heh, it's funny to imagine the Doctor reading DW fanfiction, tho, don't you think?**


	2. Too Slow

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: As you can see, I'm just running away with these drabbles. So rather than making forty new stories, and since they're basically linear, I turned this into a series of them.**

**Chapter 2: Too Slow (100 words)**

"Wait, wait!"

"What?"

"I haven't finished reading this screen yet!" The teen sighed, rather loudly.

"Hurry up already!"

"I'm reading as fast as I can!"

"You're really that slow?" He gave her a look. "What? I just thought that after 900-something years of practice, you'd've developed faster reading skills."

"I don't like reading things on screens." She responded with an ungainly snort.

"That doesn't seem to have stopped you before. And I suppose I could print it for you, if that would make you faster." He turned to the teen with a sheepish grin. "What?"

"I don't have a printer."

**A/N: I wouldn't be surprised if the Doctor didn't have a printer. I almost would be surprised if he DID.**


	3. No Printer

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: Well. This time I didn't even pause. I just waited for my internet to upload and went right on writing about printers.**

**Chapter 3: No Printer (100 words)**

"How could you _possibly_ not have a printer?"

"What would I ever need a printer for?"

"I don't know... printing stuff! What does _anyone_ need a printer for?"

"Killing trees?"

"I suppose you're right. I always print too many copies of stuff and pages of stuff I don't want. Actually, if you got a printer, you'd have to keep me away from it. I'm a pretty bad printer technician. I broke one once trying to install a new ink cartridge."

"How did you do that?!?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Even _I'm_ not that hopeless with printers."

"Hey!"

**A/N: Oh yeah. I win. And I **_**did**_** actually break a printer trying to install new ink... I'm just that special.**


	4. CD Drive

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: My computer's being slow. Well, my internet's being slow. So... a fourth drabble.**

**Chapter 4: CD Drive (100 words)**

The teen twisted the monitor around haphazardly, looking at every side of the thing. "Where's the damn CD drive on this thing?"

"Where's what?"

"The CD drive! You know, the little slot that you slide the CD into. Or the thing that comes out and you rest the CD on, and then you shove it back in. Well, you're not supposed to shove it back in, but I do anyway and I've only broken one CD drive and that was because it stuck and I took a screwdriver – not a sonic one – to it."

"Is that what I sound like?"

**A/N: That was fun. Like... a lot of it. I'll stop for a bit now.**


	5. Chips

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I've been craving good chips for ages, all because of Doctor Who. I got pissed off at this one episode where they made a point of the fact that they had chips! And Jack, the 51****st**** Century clearly-American-by-his-accent, got them too! I was pissed off.**

**Anyway, another drabble. On chips. (Prolly gonna write 'bout bananas next.)**

**Chapter 5: Chips (100 words)**

"Mmm... I smell what smells like really amazing chips."

"I don't have any."

"I know."

"We _still_ haven't left the TARDIS."

"I know."

"That's not even Earth out there."

"I know."

"That's Rox-Fom-5."

"I – no, wait, I didn't know that."

"They don't make chips."

"I'm not surprised." The teen paused, then breathed deeply.

"How can you smell chips, anyway?"

"I don't know, you smell the grease! And the oil, and the delicious– oh. I didn't mean chips like... crisps, I meant chips like... fries. Oh, eww. That word's awkward."

"What do you mean?"

"French fries aren't even French!"

**A/N: :D I want good British chips now. And I feel like I should start capitalizing the word British.**


	6. Bananas

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I dunno what's with me tonight, I must be hungry or something. All these more drabbles about food. (Altho I do have a reason for both the chips and the bananas.)**

**Chapter 6: Bananas (100 words)**

"How many bananas would I need to buy for you to not eat them all over the course of oh, I don't know, a week?"

"Too many for you to carry."

"No, really! I want to make banana bread."

"You want to ruin perfectly good bananas by baking them into bread?"

"No, I want to make perfectly good bananas into perfectly amazing banana bread."

"That's still a waste of bananas," he muttered.

"It is not! Let me make some and prove it to you."

* * *

"So, how is it?"

"Fantastic!"

"Ew. This regeneration doesn't have the mouth for that either, sorry."

**A/N: Heh. I make a pretty mean banana bread, I have to tell you.**


	7. Dialect

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I really wanted to call this one lilt, but it didn't work. Unfortunately.**

**Chapter 7: Dialect (100 words)**

"You talk funny."

"_I_ talk funny? You're the one with accent."

"Your accent isn't an accent, it's a _dialect_."

"I have my own dialect?!? SHWEET!"

"Point in case."

"What? It's my fault I watch British TV shows (well, okay _one_ British TV show) that gives me bloody brilliant things like chips (which is a much better word, by the way) and the ability to ramble and not think anything of it (which is pretty cool) and that I say acronyms that maybe aren't meant to be said (like NADCT which is actually the name of a fanfic I wrote)?"

"Yes."

**A/N: Amazing. 700 words of c--- pulled out of my a-- tonight. (Sorry, I didn't feel like having to bump up the rating 'cause of my AN.)**


	8. Notebooks

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: Umm... writing 8 explanatory AN's in one night (all in quick succession) really stop those particular creative juices flowing.**

**Chapter 8: Notebooks (100 words)**

"Ooo! A notebook!"

"You have eight back in the TARDIS. What could you _possibly_ need another one for?"

"Well, one's for realistic stories, one's a diary, one's for fantasy stories, one's from the planet Rox-Fom-5 that has private stuff in it that only I can read, one's completely empty, one's from the Kitamu Space Station that I just talk to, one's big and unlined for doodles or journaling, and one's for jotting down ideas."

"So why do you need a notebook that follows you around like a dog?"

"In case I leave any of the other ones on the TARDIS!"

**A/N: The list of my possible notebooks was much longer, but it was well over 100 words then... so I shortened it.**


	9. A Review From John Smith

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: So. Started this one on the long van ride to camp (I've got about 35 minutes coming to and from each day to waste... usually I'm half asleep though). Guess I can't stay away, huh?**

**I really like this idea. I might branch out on it later.**

**It's in all italics because it's an excerpt from a review, so it's written, so I thought it should be denoted as such.**

**Chapter 9: A Review from "John Smith" (100 words)**

_[...] I would like to correct your knowledge on a few things before going on. Firstly, it's Rox-Fom-5 that sells Maloforian Secret Journals, not Rox-Fom-7. Rox-Fom-7's business is based in dairy cows. The Maloforian planet is called Maloforax, not Maloforia. The rest of your Maloforian facts were mostly correct, although I have yet to hear of anyone using Piqin Juice to reveal the words hidden in a Maloforian Secret Journal. My current companion has one somewhere in her room, so I can try that. I'll pick up some Piqin Juice next time we go shopping. [...]_

**A/N: That's just the tiniest bit of a review he'd leave. The littlest bit! I imagine him going on **_**forever**_**... well, you'll see in some future drabble.**


	10. Review Response

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: This wasn't planned... until I'd finished writing "A Review From 'John Smith'".**

**Chapter 10: Review Response (100 words)**

"What did you do?"

"What?"

"Did you _really_ run out of space writing a review?"

"What?! No!" His teenage companion gave him a look. "Okay, maybe. Well... okay, fine, I ran out of space! But what do you expect? I had to correct all of the author's mistaken research!" The teen smacked her palm to her forehead loudly.

"It's called _fiction_ for a reason, Doctor!"

"If they're writing about Rose and me, the least they could do is have the decency to get their facts straight." The girl raised her eyebrows. "And good grammar."

"I'm never showing you Sue fiction."

**A/N: I'm not sure if it's really called Sue fiction... but you know, that stuff that's in chatspeak with no plot and nothing but badly-written "romantic" scenes and did I forget to mention the Sues?!?**


	11. Immaturity

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: This idea has been bouncing around in my head since I turned this into a collection of drabbles. Only I haven't written it yet because I kept forgetting it.**

**Chapter 11: Immaturity (100 words)**

The teen caught the Doctor's attention and stuck out her tongue. He stuck out his. She raised her eyebrows. He raised his, and made a funny face. She made a funny face back, with the help of antler-hands. He used his arm as an elephant tusk. She jumped up and around making noises like a chicken. He jumped about in a position like a deformed frog, making chirruping bird calls. She cracked up.

"You're really immature, you know that?"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too and that proves it!"

**A/N: The Doctor's so ridiculously immature, I couldn't **_**help**_** but add that in. I wanted to make it more action, but I couldn't resist the "are too/am not" bit at the end. :D**


	12. Crash Landing

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: This title was given to me by my friend who isn't a Doctor Who fan, but who I asked for a word or a short phrase. And she gave me this (the title).**

**This one was exactly 100 words on the first go. Amazing!**

**Chapter 12: Crash Landing (100 words)**

"Press that button!"

"This one?"

"No, the other one!"

"Which one? This whole thing's buttons!"

"The one right above your left hand!"

"That's not a button, that's a lever!"

"Press it!"

"How do I press a lever?!"

"No, the button!"

"It's not a button!"

"Not the lever, the button _on_ the lever!"

"What, this one?"

"Yes! Press it, quick!" A gleeful look in her eye, the teen paused with her finger above the button.

"What'll happen if I don't?"

"We'll –" A loud boom sounded throughout the ship, which jolted and knocked its two passengers to the floor. "– crash."

**A/N: If any of you have prompts you want me to drabble on, just leave them in a review. I promise I'll write them, though I won't necessarily do them next. And I'll give you credit. (I'd give this friend credit but she doesn't have a FanFiction account.)**


	13. There's Mary Sue

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: This title (unintentionally) given to me by a review from Sunfall E.**

**Chapter 13: There's Mary Sue (100 words)**

"Where've we landed this time?"

"Sue-land."

"Sue-land?"

"Yup."

"Right... is everyone here named Sue or something?"

"Yup."

"Really? _Everyone_ has the same name?"

"No! That's not what I said, is it?"

"You said everyone's named Sue."

"I didn't say that's their _only_ name, did I?"

"Well, no..."

"So they can all be named Sue then, can't they?"

"I s'pose."

"I'll show you." He led his young companion out of the TARDIS. "See? Look at their nametags! They all say Sue!"

"They're all named Sue and they all wear nametags?"

"Well, of course!" She paused.

"How come they look like rabbits?"

**A/N: I have no idea where the ending came from. It just... did. I dunno. I'm wierd tonight, I s'pose.**


	14. Staplers and Stickers

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I printed "The Doctor's Song" and tried to staple it with two different staplers... neither of which had staples in them. Hence this chapter.**

**Chapter 14: Staplers and Stickers (100 words)**

"What're you rummaging through that drawer for?"

"Hmm? Oh, I'm looking for a stapler."

"A stapler?"

"You know, put not too many pieces of paper in the mouthy bit, shove down with your palm, and the papers get stuck together by a little bit of metal?"

"That sounds a little ridiculous."

"You're telling me you've never heard of staplers?"

"Nope!"

"Well... do you have anything else I can use to stick these sheets of paper together?" He dug in the drawer and produced a small, flat, rectangular thing that looked like a USB stick.

"It's called a sticker."

"A sticker?"

**A/N: The "sticker" design came from an old USB that I had sitting by my monitor. I then proceeded to ah... try to "sticker" my mouse pad (which is really awesome by the way). Needless to say, it didn't work.**


	15. Punching a Wall

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I read a fanfic where Rose died and felt like punching a wall. So... this.**

**Chapter 15: Punching a Wall (100 words)**

"What happens if you punch a wall of the TARDIS?"

"Why would you _want_ to punch a wall of the TARDIS? What has she ever done to you?"

"Nothing, but I was just wondering."

"You'd probably break your hand. Well, _I'd_ probably break every bone in my hand, meaning you'd probably break every bone in your arm."

"Oh. Okay."

"Why?"

"Well, I was just wondering if it was a feasible way to vent your anger. Like if someone you knew said something really stupid."

"Why on _earth_ would you punch a wall?"

"I dunno, it might be spongey or something."

**A/N: Actually, I do know someone who punched a wall and broke his hand 'cause one of my friends said something ridiculously insensitive. Yeah, I'm not saying anymore than that.**

**I realize the TARDIS walls don't look remotely spongey. But then again, you never know.**


	16. Pony!

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I can't remember why it came up... probably camp... or maybe my parents talking about going to a college that has horses... Anywho, I thought about bringing a pony into the TARDIS.**

**Ergo, this.**

**Chapter 16: Pony! (100 words)**

"I want a pony."

"I – where are we going to put a horse on the TARDIS?"

"How'm I supposed to know? You've got to have a stable in here _somewhere_. Oh, come on, you have a unlimited number of rooms of unlimited size and you don't have a stable?!?"

"I've never _looked_ for one. I've never brought a horse on board, so I've never needed one."

"Well, I'm going to find one." She stomped off determinedly. Five minutes later, she returned to the consol room, fully dressed in riding clothes. "The stable's currently right next door when you need me."

**A/N: This could be turned into something much more brilliant than it is, but I didn't have the effort to put into it. It was about 2AM on July 5****th****. Ergo I was rather hyper from just having watched intense fireworks. Happy... belated 4****th****, all Americans out there.**


	17. SuperCoffee

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: Heh. Just read a story about the Doctor being a bit sugar buzzed, so I wondered what would happen if he got his hands on some of the sludge coffee my friend makes...**

**Chapter 17: Super-Coffee (100 words)**

"Did you have the end of the super-coffee?"

"What? Oh, no. I didn't know you made super-coffee."

"Huh. That's odd. I made enough sludge for two servings and had one myself. The rest's missing."

"It's probably nothing. The TARDIS cleaned it up or something."

"I guess."

"You did, didn't you?" she asked the living ship. In response, the lights flashed. "Uhoh – that was a rather smug reply, don't you think?"

"Yeah..."

Suddenly, the TARDIS jolted considerably, banging about, and then dropped to a shuddering finish which knocked the two friends to the ground. "Crap. The Doctor found it."

**A/N: I have nothing intelligent or unintelligent to say. Although, this is something rather unintelligent to say, so maybe I just have nothing remotely intelligent to say.**


	18. Rose

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: You may have noticed that this stuff above this considerably shrunk. It would be practically non-existent were it not for my ridiculous disclaimer. I decided I'd change around my top bitty-bit, because it was getting kinda annoying. I'm gonna go back and fix the rest while I'm at it.**

**Anywho, the mysterious "Lena" has left me two reviews but no way to reply to them! So I must do it here. Lena: Glad you're liking it. I'd do your idea with Rose & Susan... if I knew who Susan was. Or maybe just remembered who she was? I feel like I should, but I don't...**

**Back to this thing. She ("Lena") inspired me to do this.**

**Chapter 18: Rose (100 words)**

"Doctor, the TARDIS moved the – who's this?"

"Oh. My. God. _Rose?!?_"

"Do I know you?"

"Do you know her?"

"How's she here?"

"What are you looking for anyway, Rose?"

"No, I don't know you. Only know of you."

"Well, I was looking for the spare library, but there's a horse stable in the way."

"How's she here? Isn't she trapped in a parallel universe?"

"It's moved downstairs."

"Thanks. And who are you, exactly?"

"Oh, sorry, the stable's my fault."

"Well, we got her out."

"Isn't that impossible?" The three travelers stared at each other.

"Well, this is one weird conversation."

**A/N: I know this makes no sense, but it's Rose, the Doctor, and the... "new companion", AKA me or any other fangirl who wants to insert herself there. Yeah. I think you might possibly be able to maybe guess who's who in this. Some of the time. XD**


	19. Jack

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I am currently pissed off at Jack's complete... betrayal of Gwen. AND the fact that he let Ianto die (not that there was much he could've done).**

**Chapter 19: Jack (100 words)**

A man in clothing typical of the 1940s, complete with billowing greatcoat, stepped through the doors of the TARDIS. The teenage girl, who had up until that moment been contentedly reading a book, looked up. She recognized the man and glared at him. "You!" she exclaimed, dropping her book to the floor and striding purposefully over to him.

"Do I know you?" he asked. She punched him, hard, in the face.

"Ow," she moaned, having put a little too much force into the punch. He inspected his nose, which was dripping blood.

"What was that for?"

"You're a bloody idiot!"

**A/N: Well. That's a wee bit satisfying, but I still want to shoot him. In the face.**

**And then maybe blow him up again.**


	20. Jack Again

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I'm still annoyed at Jack. I decided that I actually needed to **_**kill**_** him, like I've been threatening to do.**

**It's strange how making characters do the things I want to do satisfies me, for a time.**

**Chapter 20: Jack Again (100 words)**

"What do you mean, I'm a bloody idiot?"

"Oh, you know perfectly well what I mean!"

"No, I really don't."

"Deadly things; deadly things," the teen muttered, searching the room.

"What do you need deadly things for?"

"Killing people!" She pulled a panel off the floor and jumped in.

"Killing who?"

"Lovely!" she remarked as if not hearing him. "'G'!" She opened the chest. "Globe... Goat... I don't see how 'orange' starts with 'G'... Ahah! Gun!" She turned and shot the man in the forehead.

He awoke with a loud intake of breath. "What the bloody hell was that for?"

**A/N: :D There, that's a little better. Still want to kill him again, though.**

**It was the some episode of series 4, when the Doctor unearth one of Agatha Christie's books to show Donna, that gave me the idea for where to find the gun.**


	21. How to Eat a Banana

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: I don't think I'm done killing Jack, but I was reading a fanfic and was reminded of the Doctor's obsession with bananas and remembered that I'd learned the "proper" way to eat bananas recently.**

**Chapter 21: How to Eat a Banana (100 words)**

She entered the TARDIS's kitchen and found the Doctor trying to peel a banana. "You're doing it wrong," she informed him, getting herself a piece of chocolate cake.

"What?"

"You're peeling that banana incorrectly."

"I am not."

"Are too. You haven't even opened it yet." She emphasized her point, pointing with a fork covered in cake. "Give it here."

"No!"

"I'm just going to open it for you." Sighing, he handed her his precious fruit. She flipped it over and squeezed the bottom bit. It peeled open easily. "Here."

"Where'd you learn how to do that?" She shrugged.

"Youtube."

**A/N: I had some really good chocolate cake today. Well, yesterday. I want more.**


	22. Batteries

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: Hey, guess what? I'm writing a chapter of FMM from my dad's laptop while I'm away! Amazing, isn't it? I sure think so. Well, anyway, I was inspired by this because I'm only here on the laptop because my mp3 actually **_**did**_** practically run out of power, which makes trying to listen to Snow Patrol while writing a character nearly impossible. Anywho, enough of my explanation, or this'll be longer than the thing. You know, it probably is.**

**Chapter 22: Batteries (100 words)**

She was in the middle of listening to a song when it died. She sighed, went to her room, and dug around in her bag for the right plug. Then she went back to the console room.

"Doctor, where's the USB port on this thing?"

"The what?"

"The USB port! You know, where I stick this bit." She showed him the plug.

"Oh, _that_ kind of USB port. Don't have one."

"How'm I supposed to charge this, then?"

"They didn't give you an outlet charger?"

"No..."

"Oh, give it here." He performed some sonic magic on it. "Better than new."

**A/N: Yay! I thought of a sequel to this one, seeing as I don't like the ending.**


	23. Still No Internet!

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: The sequel to Chapter 22!**

**Chapter 23: Still No Internet! (100 words)**

"So, now that my mp3's sonic-ified, what can it do?"

"Well, you never need to charge it."

"Yeah, I gathered than, since that's why you sonic'd it. What else can it do?"

"Play really awesome music."

"It could already do that."

"Well, now it plays better music."

"What _else_ can it do?"

"Well... it has Bluetooth capabilities."

"It already... Oh, hey! Can it connect to the internet?"

"Could it before?"

"No."

"Then it can't."

"What's the point of sonic-ing it then?!"

"So it doesn't need to be charged!"

"Oh, yeah. So... can you give it a cool TARDIS-computer background?"

**A/N: Damn. Now I'm going to go around wishing my mp3 actually **_**did**_** have a TARDIS-computer background. It would look **_**awesome**_** with one, the way the backgrounds work on it. If I had a really bright version of a TARDIS-computer background, and used the current background theme I have set up which I really like, it would be **_**soooooo**_** awesome.**


	24. Sudoku

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: Got the idea for this while watching Boom Town for the third time in my life. It's an awesome episode! It's like The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances, only without the nightmare quality. And was **_**all**_** of series one that hilarious? I don't remember it being...**

**Chapter 24: Sudoku (100 words)**

"Quit bouncing!" the companion yelled from behind her closed door. The Doctor stopped his experimenting with different walking styles.

"What was that?"

"QUIT YOUR BOUNCING!" she repeated, louder and no less annoyed. "I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!"

"What would you ever want to do that for?" The Doctor heard her rummaging about in her room. A moment later, she appeared with an Impossible Sudoku Book.

"Here. Do some of these and leave me in peace." He sat down where he was and got right to work.

Twenty minutes later, he knocked on her door. "What do I do when I'm done?"

**A/N: I think the fact that I'm sorta tired is rubbing off into these... And I bet you'll **_**never**_** guess how Boom Town made me think of Sudoku.**


	25. Antiquated Technology

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: The title for this drabble is a sort-of reference to a line in Manipulated Timeline (if I'm remembering correctly). It was inspired by the fact that I was staring at the screen of the laptop that cameos in this chapter and trying to think of an idea for an addition to FMM, which has long been lacking in that department.**

**I'm surprised the thing is still working myself.**

**Chapter 25: Antiquated Technology (100 words)**

The teenager plopped herself down in captain's chair, opened the computer bag that she'd placed at her feet, and pulled out the tiny computer inside.

"Is that a netbook?" the Doctor asked her. She looked at him.

"No," she answered. "It's a laptop."

"It's awfully tiny."

"Yes, well," she said, slightly distracted while it took about five full minutes to boot up. "It's eleven years old."

"It was made in 2457?"

"No… Are we 2468 or something?"

The Doctor grinned at her. She sighed.

"It was eleven years old when I left. It's running Window 98."

"And it hasn't crashed?"


	26. God Bloody Dammit

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: This one has two references to Firefly and was actually going to be about something else, but then I changed my mind and decided I liked this 'plot' instead.**

**Chapter 26: God Bloody Dammit (100 words)**

"God bloody dammit!"

The Doctor stared at his young companion. "What a lovely choice of words," he commented.

"Well, what would you rather I said? Butt face? Bloody hell? Gorram? Actually, it wasn't really a god damn situation, and I said 'god bloody dammit' not 'god damn' anyway. So, maybe not gorram. But I could have said 'butt face' if you would have preferred that. Or 'bloody hell.' Or just 'god dammit,' I suppose."

"Is everything alright in that head of yours?" She smiled.

"Everything's shiny, Captain!"

The Doctor gave her a look that clearly said that she was insane.


	27. ScaredyCat Technology

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: If I owned a sonic screwdriver, it'd make the sound AND light up. Not just light up. Unfortunately, I don't – I don't even have a light-up-noise-making pen that looks like it. Ergo, I couldn't possibly be the alien using the alias "Russel T. Davies."**

**A/N: As usual, the minor details about 'real life' are true to my life.**

**Chapter 27: Scaredy-Cat Technology (100 words)**

The girl's ancient computer beeped.

"I just plugged you in!" she informed it. The Doctor gave her a look she frequently received: the 'you're bloody insane' look.

"Is talking to it really going to help all that much?"

"_May_be," she replied. "It's a lot nicer than kicking it, you have to admit."

"You'd _kick _it?"

"No," she said rather quickly. "Maybe. Well, not this one. But I have repeatedly kicked my desktop computer at home."

"Maybe _that's_ why technology does what you tell it to."

"Kicking technology _is_ a good idea?!"

"No," he replied quickly. "It's just afraid of you."


	28. Password

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, my name got lost under some papers and Davies left Moffat in charge of the series, instead of me. I really should take it up with him, the bloody alien conman.**

**A/N: Well! It's been **_**ages**_** since I've updated this, I know. However, I'm putting up a string of them, so be on the look out! Probably four chapters in one go.**

**I recently obtained a netbook when the ancient laptop that was featured in this story had its screen stop working. Hence the chapters involving more internet-related things.**

**You may have noticed that the disclaimer has been updated. I thought that the new era of Who deserved a new era of my disclaimers for this. And I promise, this is probably three times as long as any of the rest of the ANs I'll put on the chapters I upload tonight.**

**Chapter 28: Password (100 words)**

The girl stared intently at the screen of her netbook. She typed something in. The computer beeped. She frowned, then tried typing something different in. That didn't work, either. She tried twice more before giving up, and turning to the alien who had lead her on these adventures.

"Doctor, what's the password?"

"For what?"

"The internet."

"There's no internet in here."

"My netbook says there is. Calls it the TARDIS network."

"Give it here." The girl handed over the small computer, and the Doctor pointed his sonic screwdriver at it. "Well, what's the password?"

He told her.

"_That's_ the password?!"


	29. Parental Controls

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, my name got lost under some papers and Davies left Moffat in charge of the series, instead of me. I really should take it up with him, the bloody alien conman.**

**A/N: Ahh... fanfiction addictions...**

**Chapter 29: Parental Controls (100 words)**

"Let me see your computer a moment."

"Why?"

"Because I said so. Give it here."

"No! I'm not giving you my netbook unless you tell me why!"

"I need to set the parental controls!"

"What? No! You're not my parent; you can't tell me what to do."

"I'm nine hundred years older than you; I think I have _some_ authority."

"Well then, you're only allowed to set the I'm-900-years-old-than-you controls."

He rolled his eyes and said her name exasperatedly.

"Why?"

"I have to restrict your access to the internet."

"Why?"

"You read too much fanfiction."


	30. Internet

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, my name got lost under some papers and Davies left Moffat in charge of the series, instead of me. I really should take it up with him, the bloody alien conman.**

**A/N: The awesome powers of the internet... multiplied by infinity.**

**Chapter 30: Internet (100 words)**

"Doctor, how exactly does your internet access work?"

"How do you mean?"

"You know. All of space and time at your disposal. You must be able to get something like everything that ever was or ever will be on the internet. How do you keep the computers that access the internet on this ship from exploding?"

"I don't actually use the internet for much. You, with your fanfiction obsession, on the other hand, are testing the strength of the filters."

"So, what, am I going to rip another hole in the space-time continuum?"

"Well, _hopefully..._"

"Hopefully?"

"We'll be alright."


	31. Transdimensional Physics

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, my name got lost under some papers and Davies left Moffat in charge of the series, instead of me. I really should take it up with him, the bloody alien conman.**

**A/N: I loved the bit in the old series where this was explained. It's wonderful to be able to say you understand transdimensional physics. :D**

**This one is the first one that has a specific time, that isn't relative to another chapter, but it explains itself, so no worries.**

**Chapter 31: Transdimensional Physics (100 words)**

She walked into the TARDIS for the first time in her life, and grinned. It was bigger on the inside, just like she expected. It was positively _huge_, as a matter of fact. Not only that, but it was _beautiful_, and filled with the most amazing collection of alien technology that she had ever seen.

"Well?"

She looked at his expectant expression. "You're not going to get any sort of 'it's bigger on the inside' from me. I understand transdimensional physics."

"Oh?"

She then proceeded to explain the theory behind them, simply to wipe that silly expression off his face.


	32. Unnecessary Sneakiness

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer:****Unfortunately, my name got lost under some papers and Davies left Moffat in charge of the series, instead of me. I really should take it up with him, the bloody alien conman.**

**A/N: Woohooo, I'm back in business! At least with the FMM drabbles :D I LOVED the restart to the series! I think I'm going to be really happy I've returned to the world of ! **

**Chapter 32: Unnecessary Sneakiness (100 words)**

She clutched the tub of ice cream and cookie dough to her chest, and snuck warily around the corner of the corridor. The coast to her room was clear, but there were two more corridors which branched off at the ends of this corridor and you could never be too sneaky when it came to–

"What are you doing?"

She started and nearly dropped the container.

"Doctor!" she reprimanded. He looked at her questioningly. "I... er... um... sneaking to my room."

"Why?"

"In case my parents find me eating ice cream and cookie dough in the middle of the night..."


	33. Spoilers

**Five More Minutes**

**Disclaimer:****Unfortunately, my name got lost under some papers and Davies left Moffat in charge of the series, instead of me. I really should take it up with him, the bloody alien conman.**

**A/N: This one was fun to write, but SPOILERS FOR "LET'S KILL HITLER" (how ironic, given the title). Ahh, such a great episode!**

**Chapter 33: Spoilers (100 words)**

"River Song."

"The one and only."

"You killed the Doctor."

"Yes, and I've regenerated twice since. I'm surprised you recognised me."

"You set up your own parents."

"Can't forget I was named after myself."

"You've put _graffiti_ on famous archaeological artefacts throughout all of time and space."

"_You_ stowed away on the TARDIS!"

"Hey, how do you know that?"

"Daughter of the TARDIS, love."

"But you're something like dead and uploaded to a computer that was made from the brain of a dying girl."

"With the remains of my archaeological team, of course."

"Wait, how do you know that?"

"Spoilers."


End file.
